


I'll Carry You Home Tonight

by safetypin



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, No Real Death Though, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, don't read if triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5199083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safetypin/pseuds/safetypin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Reality sets in when the doctor says that apparently having no social life, rereading things a lot, and spending most of your free time alone is reason to diagnose depression. Life changes then, because then the pills start.'</p><p>Back in '05 Frank found a letter stuffed in a suitcase. Forever after shall he be glad he did.</p><p>May be triggering for mentions of being suicidal, please don't read if this can in any way hurt you. Keep yourself safe xoxo!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Carry You Home Tonight

*Dear Frankie,

Nothing is ever what we think we'll see as we go through this life. At a young age we always seem to think that we're all going to grow up to be "normal". That we'll go to college, get a well paying job, fall in love, get married, have a kid or two. Think they'll get a happily ever after. No one seems to think that they're going to get ill. I suppose I mean a different kind of ill though, because I'm not plagued with some sort of disease. Well maybe I am, but it's an illness of the mind one way or another. No one thinks that they're living to die, but that's reality. 

Reality sets in when the doctor says that apparently having no social life, rereading things a lot, and spending most of your free time alone is reason to diagnose depression. Life changes then, because then the pills start. At first it feels like they work well, too well. Because then they send you down a spiral of it only getting much worse. It's like everything you've worked for, everything you've done, is just going to waste. That hurts too, because it's you telling yourself that you mean nothing, that you are worthless. And we don't deserve this. We don't. 

There's no need for someone to be sad all the time, that's what Mikey once said when he was little. I only wish I wasn't about to hurt him like this. I never wanted for it to be like this. I never wanted to be the big brother who was so bad at life that once he was gone it only took so long before he was forgotten. It would be best if Mikey forgot me anyway. Look out for him? Won't you? He deserves to have someone there for him. I was never any good at keeping him okay, I couldn't even keep myself okay. 

You gave me hope for so long, you should know that. I thank you for that. If it weren't for you My Chem never would had taken off, and all those kids out there, they never would have had us to be there for them. No one deserves to feel like this. Like you're not breathing, like you're sinking. They deserve a savor. I find it hard to believe that it happened to be us for a while. For that you should be proud. We all should. 

But everything comes to a close eventually. This is me making mine Frank. I'm so, so sorry for that.

Love,  
Gerard*

 

Frank looked up from the old and worn piece of paper in his hand. He couldn't believe that he had found this all those years ago, hidden in Gerard's suitcase. 

But now that was the past. The letter itself dated from 2005. It was now 2015. Ten whole years. It was hard for Frank to believe that.

But 2015 was far different from 2005, as there Gerard was, sitting on the bed in front of him, sketching away. Frank was leaning in the doorway to their bedroom. It had been "their" bedroom ever since that night Frank had shoved the paper in Gerard's face, the taller man drunk and high as a kite. 

That was the last night Gerard had ever had more than one glass of alcohol to drink, the last night he'd ever done drugs. 

Because now, in 2015, they were happy. Frank and Gerard were married, living together, and oh-so in love. 

Maybe happily ever after did exist. It certainly seemed like Frank had found it.

**Author's Note:**

> Title credits to Fun.


End file.
